


You Keep Me Safe (I'll Keep You Wild)

by imargarita



Series: Prompt Me [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, In universe non-canon, Inspired by Twitter, Is this how you tag?, Kylo takes Rey's hand, Luke is ALIVE because Crait doesn't end the way it did, Reylo - Freeform, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 09:49:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imargarita/pseuds/imargarita
Summary: Twitter prompt: When a redeemed Ben gets injured on missions protecting Poe, Finn, and Rose, Rey asks why he’s being so reckless; he doesn’t want her to lose her family she found, even if it means he doesn’t make it. Rey knocks some sense into Ben about what he means to her as well.Or at "@Reylo_prompts I heart you."





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This ear worm got to me. Pray I finish it. Use your powers for good, Reylo Fam.

Rey woke and though it was early into the first shift, she groaned. The possibility that the _Millennium Falcon_ had landed without her to greet it and the crew caused her stomach to clench – she was always on deck when her friends returned from missions. Of course, there was one easy way to find out if they had landed. She opened her mind to the Force, casting a wide net out. It only took a few seconds to know there was no sign of Kylo. He wasn’t anywhere near the moon base, nor near the binary moon that rotated with them. The connection between them loose across the light years.

It had been a long week without most of her friends. Poe, Finn, Rose, and Kylo weren’t often on missions together, but it wasn’t the first time, and she knew she wasn’t imaging that the joint missions had become more frequent in the past few months. Without her. Well, of course, there was no need for the two most powerful force users in the galaxy to travel together. That would be overkill…

Besides there was no denying the base was calmer without Kylo Ren stalking around. Rey was the preferred choice by far. So, it made sense he was sent away constantly. _It made sense, but it wasn’t fair._ She had said so to him during their last training, right before he left. He had shrugged, accepting he was sent on away missions more often than she was. Just like he had accepted everything since taking her hand and following her out of the First Order two years ago.

_Well almost everything. _

_*You’re thinking too loud. Let the past die and all that,* _a voice interrupted her musing. It was always jarring, to have Luke in her head. An intrusion, so different than the bond with Kylo. Luckily, only Luke had enough power in the Force to do it.

_*Good morning, Luke,*_ she greeted. She started to pull inwards, raising her shields from Luke just a little. She always thought too much and it leaked out beyond her control – in that she and Kylo were much too similar.

_*Like you can hide anything from me. I’m not an oblivious idiot. So, he still hasn’t come around, huh?* _Yup, thank the stars Kylo was too busy trying to control his own feelings to pay too close attention to Rey’s.

But she definitely didn’t want to talk about Kylo with Luke. _*I don’t know what you’re talking about… I have to go. I’ll catch up with you later?*_

Luke chuckled. _*If you need to calm yourself before he lands, you know where to find me.*_

Luke had build himself a shelter in the forest a few miles from the base, and she could picture him, meditating in his favorite spot under an ancient tree. There would be no calm for her while her friends were away. She needed to see them safe.

She dressed quickly, her first stop the cafeteria to grab a hot mug of caf, before entering Command. Leia was at Station 1, the central control of the base, reports coming in frequently. Leia always did the first rotation in Command so Rey wasn’t surprised to see her at all.

“Nothing yet. And I don’t expect any communication until they’re within system really,” Leia said, taking a sip out of her own mug. “You’ll probably know my son’s back before these machines do.”

Rey shrugged, glancing at the control station. The skies were clear, most of the base quiet in the first hours that marked the shift. “How long before they need to go out again?”

“Depends on what they find out,” Leia replied. “He’s working himself too hard. Too fast. I wish he would slow down.”

The pot was calling the kettle black, but it was a mother’s prerogative Rey supposed. She wouldn’t know. She only knew she wanted him safely back. If not in her arms, at least in her sight.

* * *

Straight from training she stopped by Command again, not even bothering to shower, which she should have done given Snap’s reaction. As soon as she got within arms length of him, he stepped away adding as much space as he could. He manned Station 2, responsible for monitoring the system’s traffic. Other than their moon base R-380 and its sister moon R-381 (nicknamed Retreat Base and Retreat Home) the rest of the system was uninhabited by higher life forms.

It was the middle of the morning and the base was now alive with activity. Station 2’s board was lit with dots indicating squadrons training around the two moons, and Rey made out Jessika Pava’s voice over the comm every so often. The woman liked to swear.

Snap breathed through his mouth, and Rey felt the blush in her cheek. She forgot that people were uncomfortable about smells. Or more accurately, they had become comfortable about being uncomfortable about smells in the past two years. The well-fortified based was equipped warm beds, hot foods, and most importantly a water system that allowed people to bathe as often as they wanted. “Nothing yet, Rey. Though knowing Dameron, maybe they stopped by Canto Bight to win a few thousand credits.”

“Not with Kylo with them,” Rey said and she blushed for a completely different reason when Snap gave her a sly smile. Kylo would have not let them deviate from a mission plan. Get in, get intel, get out. Anything else he would have deemed too risky.

“Yeah, you’re right. Look, go change, get some lunch. If we get any word, we’ll get you. You can be refreshed when they’re here.”

“That bad, huh?” She asked, stepping back. She resisted the urge to lift her arms and smell herself.

“It could be better. It definitely could be worse, but it could be better. Yeah go shower.”

On her way out, Rey threw a quick look at Station 1. Leia was in deep conversation with two of her senior officers and Rey was glad the General didn’t have time to give her a minute. There was no need to embarrass her in front of their leader. _In front of Kylo’s mother._

Rey came back after a shower and lunch, Snap taking a hesitant sniff and then breathing normally to indicate she no longer smelled. While she was standing with him, he even made a few discreet calls to see if any of their checkpoints had caught the Falcon’s signal. None of the ones closes to the base had, but the one past Canto Bight registered the _Falcon _in its monitoring of hyperspace. Right in the middle of the last shift_,_ Snap estimated.

For the rest of the afternoon Rey helped with small ship repairs and running diagnostics on equipment in the docks. She tried reading, but didn’t get far, the words jumbling on the page, making less sense than they usually did.

Later in the evening, she decided on a change of scenery and had dinner sitting in the grass away from base. She ate slowly, trying to calm herself, trying to slow her heart beats. _They’re almost home. _As a last resort, the end of the day found her at Luke’s meditation class. He humored her longer than she thought he would and threw her out after half an hour – even she knew her head was too noisy and affecting the children who had so much less control than she did.

She gave up pretending she wanted to be anywhere else and found herself at Command early in the last rotation. Snap had been replaced by Kaydel at Station 2, and General Organa had moved to one of the smaller analyst tables, surrendering Station 1 to General Avana. Everyone greeted her when she entered the room. Lei motioned her to a free chair, but Rey shook her head, making her way to Kaydel instead.

“Evening, Rey!” Kaydel greeted.

“Hi, Kay. Mind if I join you here?”

“Not at all, grab a seat. I could use the company.”

There were less blips on the screen at night. Only a few squadrons were out and the shuttles between Retreat Base and Retreat Home. Retreat Base used to be an Empire outpost, the planet below them heavy with natural resources. So rich, that civilian companies had underground buildings on Retreat Home for their executives. The Empire had moved out, some of the Companies had never left – all of them allied in one way or the other to General Organa or her family. The resources still came from the planet and went out to more civilized parts of the galaxy, providing funds for the Resistance and more often cover.

Kylo had given her the history of the system, taking his role as her teacher seriously.

It was much later, when Rey was sitting with Leia, that the _Millennium_ _Falcon _appeared out of hyperspace – a larger blip on the screen –and Kaydel’s soft voice announced the return of the ship. Kay spoke to the crew over her comm unit, “Dock 3 is clear for landing, Commander Dameron. Welcome home, Falcon.”

_*Kylo,* _Rey reached out for him, waiting for his return greeting. She would feel better once she heard his response of _Everyone is safe, Scavenger._

Kylo’s response should have been quick, rote. It’s the first indication something is –_ could be, not definitey yet - _ wrong. The second Rey is slower to recognize. It was Kaydel who announced the ship. In the past it had been Rey – always before Station 2 picked anything up – with a quick _They’re back, you should catch them in a minute. _The bond flares to life when they are physically closer, even in hyperspace. The third, there is no flare in her mind.

Rey is somewhere between indication one and two when Leia, Force sensitive Leia, realized something wrong. Maybe it’s mother’s instinct, maybe it’s being in this fight for so long. It’s probably both. By now, with the ship on visuals, even Leia should have been able to sense her son, but there’s _nothing_. Nothing except the anxiety rolling off the other people in the Falcon. Leia pushed the chair back, made her way to Station 1, brushing past General Avana.

Rey’s brain perceived the General’s movement, she can feel Leia’s concern, but Rey refuses to accept any of it. There has to be a reason Kylo hasn’t responded yet.

The bond is there, quiet. For Rey at least, Kylo is a constant in her mind, in her heart, but it always solidified when she reached out. Unbreakable. She can still feel him. But as the moments lengthened, she can’t find an answer. At least not one that doesn’t fill her with dread.

Leia’s hands quickly transferred the closed communication between Kaydel and Poe to the main speakers. Poe’s voice, tired and unsteady fills the room, “-not to alarm anyone, Kay, but get a medic bay ready. Have someone meet us. Kylo’s pretty hurt -”

She can’t deny a third-party confirmation. There is a huge sucking sound in Rey’s ears, as if all her senses are being snuffed out one by one. Sound, vision, and then a numbness in her fingers. She’s rooted in her chair, but floating in her head. She tugged at the bond between them, looking for any sign of Kylo. There’s a fragility to the bond she hadn’t felt before. As if she tugged to tight maybe it won’t tighten, maybe it won’t pull _him_ into her orbit. Maybe instead it will break and she’ll be untethered floating in her mind forever. Only the Force hears her name her fear. _Ben, please don’t take Ben from me. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really like to give a backstory. How does Kylo end up with the Rebellion? What's been going on for two years? Kylo's POV and then we're caught up to the timeline. 
> 
> I also updated the rating. There's no explicit sex (either in person, through the force, or in their dreams), but I guess that still makes it "Mature" rather than "Teen." Better safe than sorry.

After their fight on _Starkiller_, Kylo constantly dreamed of Rey. She was a vicious warrior, the fire in her eyes during their fight in the snow magnified and matching his own. In his dreams he held his breath wondering _could two supernovas survive a collision?_ Oftentimes the answer was yes, and visions of them sitting on matching obsidian thrones, their darkness entwined forever, were frequent… but just as often, he was victorious, snuffing out her light, she taking what little humanity is left in him with her… or she slayed him and she, his mother, and their precious rebel scums build their new Republic and the new Jedi on his ashes.

Then there were the impossible dreams. Dreams that don’t care about empires, or Jedi, or rebel scum. He is inside her; she is under him, over him, surrounding him with her heat. He can’t breathe for a different reason in those dreams, because his life is so _kriffing _perfect. She’s everything, he will give her everything, she can take everything. From those dreams, he would always wake alone, screaming his pleasure into the darkness -

\- and her voice haunted him _come back, come back. All I want is you. Ben._ She never asked for anything but him in those dreams.

When they met again in the ruins of the _Supremacy_ and he killed Snoke – _kriff _the beautiful silence in his head – he offered her the darker destiny. He knew that ruling is the last thing she would ever want, this scavenger from Jakku; but it is the only destiny in which they both live. _The other dreams are for him alone, she will never want him in that way. _

The universe behind her eyes died when he offered her darkness. In that moment he knew if she raised a weapon against him, there were so many too choose from after all from the fallen Praetorian, he would fall to his knees and offer his surrender.

Then she did the unthinkable, and offered her hand instead. _Come with me. Come home. _

_Home. _He knew she thought she was leading him back to a physical place, or maybe Leia – hasn’t she been waiting for her own mother all these years? The truth for him is much simpler. She was his home. He would follow her wherever she wanted.

* * *

Had things gone differently, the First Order would have very likely destroyed the Rebellion, and Kylo Ren with them. The chaos from the Raddus slicing into the _Supremacy_, the probable discovery of Snoke cleaved in half, and finally the self-destruct sequences he triggered, are probably what save them all in the end.

Kylo has always had impeccable timing, and the explosions started when they were safely on Crait; the _Supremacy_ a black slash in the sky bursting into bright lights at major juncture points. He wondered at the stupidity of the engineers who allow a self-destruct sequence that destroyed the whole thing rather than breaking it up into separate components. Then again everyone knew Snoke killed his ship designers. It was Snoke’s own fault for sharing the codes with Kylo.

They sat side by side above the cockpit looking up at what can only be the end of the war. A devastating war to be sure, _Supremacy _with the destruction of the _Supremacy, _a potentially much shorter and evenly matched war. After all a blow this major would galvanize people, who wouldn’t want to support Leia after her Rebellion scum brought down _Starkiller_ and the _Supremacy_? People always liked to back the winners. It was automatic how – even then, while the most beautiful girl in the universe sat next to him– his mind wandered to the next 20 steps in the politic game. What his mother needed to do to win.

But in the end he would leave that all to her. Live or die, Leia was probably 25 steps ahead of everyone anyway. He was good at politics, but it didn’t mean he liked it. He hated working with people, making deals. He was not meant for giving and taking. Only taking…

But then that was not really true, he realized as he watched Rey, her face in childlike wonder as she watched pieces of the _Supremacy_ fall like shooting stars in the dusky purple sky. She laughed, her own ripple of darkness and light. There were people dying above them after all, and she knew it, but still laughed at the firework show. _It was beautiful in its own _way, Kylo supposed.

With most people, he only wanted to take. With her –

_He will give her everything she wants._

* * *

When they reach the Rebellion – there were so few of them it’s laughable – they all pointed their weapons at him, and he calculated his chance at survival to be 20%. _Until Rey put herself in front of him. _Weapons were lowered, and there was so much talking. Only in the middle of it did Leia realize her error, and ordered Rey and a small group of soldiers to lead him away to a cell.

He could have escaped. Easily. Killed all of them. Easily. Taken Rey, left the hellhole that is Crait – the color red offended him with how often he found red sand in his clothing – and just kept flying until they’ve reached the next galaxy.

Instead he stayed. There is nothing out there, and Rey was here. She wouldn’t leave them. And the bond told him she wouldn’t leave him either. Even if he is under house arrest, with only two times a day allowed outside his cell, he won’t leave her.

Then one day, he was free. There were terms: he is made to wear a monitor, it dampens some of the Force, but not much. He was to always have an escort, Rey mostly, but Poe volunteered as well. Meeting with Leia was the hardest part, as she asked what his next steps were. Did he want to leave? They could arrange travel, get him to the farthest part of the galaxy and he could do whatever he wanted. No strings attached.

_“I’ll stay and help you get your new republic started.” _He offered it before he could take it back.

She said nothing at first, her face neutral as always, and then, “_Then let’s begin.” _

* * *

He told them everything. At which point he knew some of her generals wanted to kill him immediately, what use after all is he if they have all his secrets and he is a weapon of mass destruction that cannot be controlled –

“Will you lead this mission?” His mother – no, _General Organa,_ asked. The first plan was intel gathering on what is the true state of the First Order; and though it was an empire of warships, there are a few key planets and people they can get information from. That was where Leia focuses most of her teams. But then there was one mission, on the _Excellence_, that will put a team in the heart of the empire. That was where she asking her son to go.

_He will betray us. _From someone in the back.

_It’s a trap, General._ From another.

_It’s a suicide mission. _This from the little one that was always attached to the _Traitor. _

“I know,” the General responded, answering which question he wasn’t sure, but her eyes had never left his. “Kylo?”

It had stung, the use of that name. But what else was she supposed to call him? He wasn’t Ben anymore; he didn’t deserve to be Ben _Solo. _And who really was Kylo Ren? Someone Snoke created, and he hated. So Kylo it would be. He had nodded and had joined a team made of rebel veterans and his old nanny, C3PO.

* * *

He returned victorious. They had codes, locations, names. Some codes, he was disgusted to find out, weren’t changed after he blew up the _Supremacy_. It had been easy, sneaking in, wearing nondescript clothing or just telling people to forget, and break into the system. C3P0 can’t roll its eyes, but the mechanical voice is full of disdain when it comments to Kylo, _And you are rulers of the galaxy? _

It was like child’s play, and Kylo would have had some respect if it was a trap, set by the First Order, but it wasn’t and as they are minutes away from dropping out of hyperspace into the Rebel hideout when he lets his guard down and send his disgust out into the Force. _Kriffing idiots. I can’t believe they didn’t change the top level codes. _

He hadn’t expected an answer, but received one anyways.

_*They think you’re dead, *_ Rey had answered and he had looked around. She appeared, not a solid version of herself, but she was sitting somewhere, ramrod straight –_ *How did it go?* _Her eyes were trained on his.

_*Everyone is safe, Scavenger.*_

She had smiled at him, her brilliant, nothing held back smile. _*I’m glad. I’ll meet you in the hanger.* _

* * *

It was that first mission that gave them the location of the twin moons. Their next mission, C3PO changed the intel on R-380, R-381, and the giant gas planet, so that it would look less appealing as a mineable resource. The move to the Retreat Base and Retreat Home happened quickly after that. Cells were called back to the Rebellion. And their life moved on.

Until Luke came back.

There was a touching reunion between the twins. At that point in their lives they had spent twenty years not knowing about each other; another twenty rebuilding a republic, a bond, and the Jedi; and a dozen years apart since Kylo destroyed the temple, and Luke ran to Acht-to. Yet, when they hug, Kylo’s are the only dry eyes in the room.

Kylo hummed with rage. He made to leave, not wanting to engage with Luke. Except Luke has always been the absolute kriffing worse, and followed Kylo into the corridor.

“_Ben.”_

_“It’s Kylo.”_

_“Is it?” _

Five words between them and the darkness rose immediately inside of Kylo – _kill him_ – he called for his saber, except that it is kept locked away when he is not on a mission. _Kill him._ His blood is hot as it thrummed through him, his footsteps heavy as he turned on Luke, ready to tear the other man limb from limb with his bare hands, and he knew he could do it –

_*Kylo.*_

And just like that anger crashed over him like a wave, quick, fast, and then retreated back to the Force – or maybe it hit against Rey who followed them into the hall. Half the leadership team and _Poe _are behind her. The blood in Kylo’s veins slows, cools, and he can breathe again.

_*We good? Or should we go to the practice room?* _

_*I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.* _

Her eyes widened. He had never thanked her before.

But before she could say anything, Luke cleared his throat and said, _“Hello, Rey. It’s good to see you again. Let’s chat.” _

They start to make their way out of the now crowded corridor and then someone’s hand is on Kylo’s arm. _“Hello, Ben,”_ the voice is soft, unfamiliar, and he turned, ready to tear someone’s head off.

The woman before him was older, but there was no denying who she was. _“Jess?”_

The last time he had seen her she had been a gangly pre-teen, and he was being shipped off to the Jedi Academy. Rikken Pava had been one of his few friends, and the Pavas were close enough with his mother.

_“It’s good to see you, Ben.”_ She slapped him on the arm twice and there is only curiosity rolling off her.

_“It’s Kylo,”_ he reminded, but much gentler than he had said with Luke.

_“I don’t know a Kylo… but I know you.”_

_“Jess, are you coming?”_ Ben turned towards Poe to tell him to back off, but stopped to find Rey standing still there as well, her brows furrowed.

_“We can chat later, Ben,” _Jess assured him and went to follow the group out.

Jess was quick to sign up for what was referred to behind his back as _Kylo Duty_. _Until they are used to you, _she had promised.

He did not tell her that no one gets used to him.

Jess, Rose, a few other pilots – they all volunteered to join Poe and Rey on Kylo Duty and each is a little different. Kylo and Poe spend much of their time fixing fighter planes, and rarely talking about their shared childhood. Rose was a chatterbox and he let her drag him to spend time with the children. The children have no fear, they wanted to climb him, fight him; and for that he is eternally grateful to Rose. With Jess, it was easy, she was fine spending hours doing nothing, or hours flying, and he was glad to have a real friend. But most of his time was still spent with Rey. Even when he relegated himself to his quarters, they are large, this is a rich outpost after all, and she is comfortable just being with him. _As his friend. _

Otherwise they train, they eat, they explore Retreat Base and even Retreat Home. They walked for hours saying nothing or exchanged stories between them, and Kylo lived for these moments when it is just them.

He loved her. He probably loved her on Takodana, definitely did on _Starkiller_, and would have sacrificed himself to her hand on the _Supremacy. _But on Retreat Base, he learned he liked her. Liked her company, talking to her, breathing the same air as she does.

He knew he would never be good enough for her. She surrounded herself with light, happiness, camaraderie. He would never be comfortable in that sort of fellowship where she most bloomed. But he promised the Force he would do anything for her, and if it meant protecting her friends when needed, so be it.

Opportunities were often. He removed Finn off his team whenever he could. There were times he couldn’t, when Finn and he are both needed to disrupt the Stormtrooper supply chain; but more often he can maneuver Finn onto easier missions.

Poe constantly volunteered to join Kylo on missions, and Kylo allowed it when a lot of the plan could use a second pilot. It helped that Poe would usually be left flying while Kylo spent the time on planets, moons, and the warships.

Kylo volunteered in Rey’s place often. Anything to keep her safe. They’re the galaxy’s most powerful force users, and he did not doubt her skill or power, but out of danger is where he wanted her. Leia picked up on it quickly and started sending her on more diplomatic missions when possible.

Then a year in, Rose started to volunteer on Kylo’s mission. She was a mechanic, which would be useful given his propensity to use the _Falcon _on missions and seriously he hated the bucket of bolts, but at the same time… he needed to fly it. She made a decent co-pilot too.

Once Rose started to, it was almost impossible to get Finn out of his rotation. And now that they were engaged, he pulled _the either with me or_ _not at all_ with his fiancée and Kylo was not going to get in the middle of that. Which meant splitting his concentration between the two of them, because on missions they were almost comical. He was not surprised at all they had been caught on Canto Bight, _who the kriff parks on a public beach?!_ Keeping them alive sometimes gave him aneurisms.

Poe noticed. Of course, Poe noticed and started volunteering as well to assist Kylo. Which most of the time was a good thing, Poe could at least fight, but other times he was ridiculous. And now Kylo’s concentration was split three ways.

And somewhere, almost two years in, he found he would rather be on missions than on base. Because Rey was starting to move on with her life. They could taste the end of the war, Hux was on the run, and she hadn’t made large steps, but she was testing the waters.

Two years in there was no more _Kylo Duty_. He still spent time with Poe, Jess, Rose, and even Finn now that they had been on many missions together. Only Rey had started to pull away and give him space. He enjoyed the time and freedom, but then…

There was a new recruit who had been with the Rebellion for less than six months. Zak was a pilot, a good one, and popular. Kylo would find him, Rey, Finn, and Rose together having dinner. Laughing, talking, and Rey would often sit close to him. Or once he was headed out with Jess and they ran into Zak and Rey coming back from an outing. She had been laughing at something that Zak had been saying, until she spotted Kylo and she stopped, somehow looking sad.

He realized with horror what was happening. She probably knew how he felt, and she was scared to hurt him, because she was Rey and she wanted people to be happy. He didn’t want that for her. He didn’t want to stand in her way.

So he put renewed effort into finding Hux. Ending the man’s life, ending his own misery, and setting Rey free.

* * *

“The man almost destroyed your Rebellion,” Kylo told his mother after she announced his next mission. It was early morning, and there had been a request for him to meet her for breakfast.

“Resistance,” Leia murmured the same time that Luke spoke –

“That can be said of another person in this room,” his uncle said from the couch in Leia’s private quarters.

“Or two,” Kylo glared at his Uncle.

Luke shrugged, “Mine was at worst negligence, not outright destruction.”

“Luke,” Leia warned.

The three had an uneasy truce. But Rey had pointed out that if he could make amends, then maybe Luke could too.

_Doubtful, Scavenger._ He had said and she had smiled… but that had been almost a year ago, happier times for him. Even though he had been under house arrest he had been happier.

“So now he wants to talk to us? We’ve won a few battles and the rats are running from the sinking ship. And he wants to give us Hux’s location. Just like that.”

“Well… not just like that. He’s given some of our allies other intel, for the right price.”

“The right price being Finn and Rose have to meet him on a known First Order sympathizer asteroid. And he won’t give the information to anyone but Rose.”

“She made an impression.”

“She’s a loose end more likely. She shouldn’t have survived and she did. DJ is scum, General, and I don’t think you should trust him.”

“I’ll take it under advisement, Kylo… but best thing about being the leader of the Resistance? I have ultimate decision-making power. Rose has already agreed. Poe’s flying and Finn of course won’t let her go alone. You can sit this one out if you want. Rey’s itching to get off Retreat Base –”

“Fine. I’ll do it. Someone has to keep those idiots out of trouble.” He stood making his way to exit. He nodded to Leia, excusing himself.

“It doesn’t have to be you,” Luke commented.

“Feel free, old man. You think you still got it in you?”

“I’m a pacifist, Ben.”

“It’s Kylo,” he said as he rushed out the door.

* * *

“This isn’t fair!” Rey yelled at him. He waited until after their training session was done before telling her about the mission. The practice had been brutal, simulating real combat so that tomorrow he would be ready for anything.

At the end she yielded and collapsed against the wall. It was so hot from their fight – their weapons blazed hot the entire time – that she quickly discarded her shirt, and used to wipe the sweat from her brows and face. He has seen her in various states of undress, she had no shame about her body, and he has had two years of practice now, tampering down any desire for her, looking only at her face. She was angry. Upset.

“The asset wanted Rose and Finn, and General Organa has given it a high risk rating.” Lower than he would but high enough. “It will be better if I go with them.”

“You’re a good friend, Kylo, but I should go. You just came returned from another mission two days ago –”

“It’s fine, Rey,” he assured her. “I want to make sure Rose and Finn are safe.”

“I’m glad you care about our friends, Kylo. But I care about you too –”

_His friends?_ Maybe Rose. Rose might be his friend. But Poe and Finn tolerated him, because Rose and Rey liked him.

Bile rises in his throat as he thinks about _tolerating_ Zak for Rey. Finn is a saint, tolerating Kylo for the sake of his fiancée and best friend. He should apologize to Finn for having to put up with him. Before this mission is done, before they find Hux, because he won’t stay on Retreat Base a minute longer than he needs to once Hux is dead.

* * *

His dreams that night were torture. In them Rey was laughing, leading him by his hand on the shores of a beach at night, water lapping on their bare feet. _Ben… _

She was dressed in white, the long skirt flowing against her legs and around him. He was dressed in linens as well, the cool breeze comfortable on him. She stopped all of a sudden, twin moons high above cast a beam of light on them, but her eyes shone brighter. His arms reached for her, brought her flush against him. In his dreams she was his, always his, only his.

_Rey._ He answered back through their connection and the bond sighed with their pleasure. Her arms snaked around his neck and she went up on tippy toes to pepper his jaw with kisses. In those dreams he could tell her, _I love you so much, sweetheart, so much. _

_Don’t ever leave me, Ben, _she whispered against his ear.

He held on tightly, knowing this was all he would ever have of her.

* * *

It took the _Falcon _approximately one standard day to reach their destination on the large asteroid that serves as a trading outpost. DJ picked a crowded bar, one that Poe was familiar with –_ not a place for the higher ups_ – he assured them. They exit the ship, only Poe stayed behind just in case they need to get out of there fast.

The bar as expected was full of people, the lighting is lousy, but Kylo still counted 15 different species in the first minute they are there. Poe advised there were private rooms in the towards one end, but DJ had picked a table towards the back – the farthest from the entrance but closer to the kitchens.

Kylo was still not used to walking into a room and being ignored. He was tall for a humanoid, but not overly so, and there are many other species where he would be considered short. For the past decade he had hid behind a mask, and now his own face served as a mask instead. Very few people know what Kylo Ren look like. Of the over two million or so on the _Supremacy, _less than 200 perhaps. And now some of those are dead as well.

The greet DJ, Rose visibly not happy to see him. They almost died because of the man. Finn looked ready to murder him, but they all took seats around the table.

“Hello, strangers,” he greeted the two and then turned to Kylo, “and stranger. I didn’t agree to a trio.”

Kylo shrugged, “We should be allowed extra precautions given your last dealings with my friends.”

“Since the three of us are well acquainted, and I know she’s the brains, and he’s the brawn, who are you and what do you?” DJ asked.

“He’s Ben,” Rose answered. They had called her as point, and when needed they always introduced Kylo by his real name. “And didn’t you hear? I’m still the brain, but Finn’s been promoted to lookout, and now Ben’s the brawn.”

“Well, maybe these changes in duties will do you good, girlie. Though maybe you’re lucky, escaping the First Order the way you did those years ago.”

“Oh, I’m definitely lucky, look how the tide’s changed.”

DJ laughed and motioned to the bar. A few moments later and someone came to the table and DJ ordered a round of whiskey.

Once the waitress left, left Rose broached the subject, “And the tide can keep changing. You know where the Supreme Leader is holed up?”

“For the right price I know a lot of things. But calm, down, let’s chat about your Resistance. Looks like the tide is continuing to change, and I may have picked poorly those years ago. I’d like to rectify that situation.”

“The SC’s position would go a long way to remedying that,” Finn replied.

“Your eyes got a mouth on him too,” DJ commented. “Just like he did back then. But seems like your brawn is smarter. Listens well.”

“We all know how to listen,” Rose assured him, her hand went to Finn’s forearm and the other man nodded in affirmation.

They are fifteen minutes into the meeting, when it happened. Kylo’s focus is split in too many ways, as it often is in situations like the one they were in. He was watching the door, watching the table, watching DJ’s arms to make sure they were above the table. There are about 4 arguments happening around them. People stand from a table across from them, and they grabbed their drinks the clinking sabacc dice unmistakable to Kylo as they head towards the private rooms.

The waitress seemed annoyed when she finally came back to the table. She placed the drinks in the middle, and then she was distracted by something towards the private rooms. Her eyes go wide and she was retreating. Kylo’s instincts kicked in and he was quick to stand, moved himself in front of Rose and Finn, leaving his front vulnerable for only a moment. He reached for the gun at his belt, Leia never allowed him to bring his lightsaber on a mission like this, but the bowcaster shot had already been fired, heading towards the group and he heard DJ shout, “Get down!”

It was a lucky shot, landing in the same spot that Chewie had hit him all those years ago. This one was set to the highest setting, and Kylo could feel his flesh burning around the cut. _Kriff_ the pain was excruciating without the constant darkness of the Force surrounding him.

_Rey!_ He called into the void and then passed out.


End file.
